My First Critique
Many of my sentences are too long (although stuctured correctly)
I use to many ellipses (But isn't that how people really speak?)
I use to many italics. I need to turn some of my internal thought into desciption, I guess... (there I go)
One of the issues that I'm a little bit uncertain about is my use of a kind of limited POV for my hero. Is using a kind of limited POV for my hero cheating? Just telling what he's thinking at the moment and leaving out his backstory? I've seen some of that done in romance. I think you almost have to do that to build suspense. Knowing exactly WHY the dude is doing, or even thinking, certain things will lessen the suspense.
But I am encouraged, and I can't wait to get through this chapter one more time before I submit it to my first contest. Yea me!